tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5827302206947864763.post2978549331391801417..comments2022-11-02T03:18:10.882-08:00Comments on A Widows Perspective: Egocentrism or Survival?Am I Truly A Widow?http://www.blogger.com/profile/18395708879194413106noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5827302206947864763.post-65785210423744200542013-01-19T02:45:09.707-09:002013-01-19T02:45:09.707-09:00Ouch. Know the feeling personally. Let them know...Ouch. Know the feeling personally. Let them know when they say that, it hurts you. They lost a father and you understand that pain, but, you lost your husband throwing you for a loop. As for the borrow thing...I finally gave money to the last kid and looked right at him saying, You have now made me feel completely useless as a human. It rips my heart out you ask me for money or promise to help with the checklist of house maintenance and just go away just to come back and beg again.<br /><br />Believe it or not, it will get better, but you have to stick up for you. Put some boundaries down. Just the past few months every time my children say something that hurts, I let them know it hurts and I'd rather not deal with it until I am ready. Drives them nuts, but you have that right.Am I Truly A Widow?https://www.blogger.com/profile/18395708879194413106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5827302206947864763.post-82696494889025311972013-01-05T15:07:38.050-09:002013-01-05T15:07:38.050-09:00I am getting bitter and have never been bitter, be...I am getting bitter and have never been bitter, because my children have been doing their thing, and some have "hit me up" for money when they should be able to shoulder their own responsibilities. Also, one, keeps telling me everything I've done wrong as a mother over and over. I'm sure I am worth more to them dead than alive. This is why I am bitter. Any thoughts?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5827302206947864763.post-21660185740496955952010-12-19T11:38:54.374-09:002010-12-19T11:38:54.374-09:00Amen, my dear.....I've often done just that......Amen, my dear.....I've often done just that....strive to make the cashier smile when you know she's having a bad day, hold a door for someone, give them your place in line, whatever it might be at the moment. I'm planning to put on my thinking cap and find some more of the joys we can bring ourselves. After all, if we don't do it, no one will...:-)<br /><br />Big hugs & Merry Christmas,<br /><br />Marykygalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08444107836629393066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5827302206947864763.post-49682378323137850642010-12-15T21:37:47.957-09:002010-12-15T21:37:47.957-09:00I suppose it all depends on what we perceive as jo...I suppose it all depends on what we perceive as joy. Just as we've learned to appreciate that which we do have and be thankful, and then surviving to pay that bill or get a new bargain item, its all about our perspective now. <br /><br />I think for some of us it has changed. Why can't we change our perspective to find some type of joy? In simple things. Like when someone is having a real bad day and you actually get a smile from them. I think that is a type of joy! I bet there are more if we just think about it!A Widows Perspectivehttp://awidowsperspective.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5827302206947864763.post-78810487326673130442010-12-15T15:29:45.353-09:002010-12-15T15:29:45.353-09:00Excellent thoughts here. Why is it such human nat...Excellent thoughts here. Why is it such human nature to want what we can't have? What in-bred nature makes us think it's those things that will make us happy? Like you, I wasn't left well-off and taken care of after losing my hubby. Had to sell my home, downsize so dramatically it was unreal,move twice and then lose most everything in a house fire. But, the one thing it taught me is that maybe I had too much before....and to be content with what I have. I find absolutely no shame in finding what I want at this or that thrift store...in fact, I've started bragging about the bargains I'm finding. <br /><br />I'm not saying that I don't wonder about the lights that others have up...and would it make me happy? Like you, I've always loved the look and ambiance of Christmas lights...but it's still just too much effort to get them out, put them up and then take them down again. Heck, I can barely find the energy to dust or run the vacuum. Who cares...it's just me and the dog! :) Some day we may find that "contentment" again but I'm not really sure that we'll ever find the joy. What say you?<br /><br />MaryAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03604238950096381160noreply@blogger.com