Thursday, December 2, 2010

Surviving The Holiday

Surviving the holidays has been a challenge for me.  Christmas was my favorite holiday.  It still is, but I have no one to celebrate with.  So I haven't been decorating.  Maybe this is the problem.

Reasons I like to decorate:
  • Its my favorite holiday
  • The lights make me feel happy
  • The trees smell good and makes me happy
So why would I stop taking part in something that gave me so much joy?  It was my husbands favorite holiday too.  Maybe I am feeling guilty that I am here and he is not?  I suppose questions could be posed until the cows come home, and there probably isn't an answer to any.

This year, I will decorate.  I'm also making some gifts.  I haven't even picked up my art or any hobbies, all the things that gave me joy,  since his death.  Its time to stop this nonsense. 

I wonder sometimes if other widows/widowers go through this same situation?  Is the joy gone for others? 

 As I said, I name my "void."  This year the void will be subjected to Christmas decorations.  The Void will be subjected to the sewing machine, beading, and homemade cookies.  Even if I have to eat them myself. 

Anyone else want to make some cookies too?  Lets do this!  All of us who have had the joy knocked out of us, lets celebrate this year.  Make a star and hang it.  Plug in a set of lights.  Burn a Christmas candle!  Let's all have a beautiful Christmas even if we are alone.  It can be done!

I'm going to make it a point to write more this month because I have been avoiding "the" holiday.  Every time I make something or do something Christmas I'm going to write about it.  Seems silly, but this alone is a large accomplishment.  There, I've put it in my blog that's public.  So now I must follow through!

1 comment:

  1. Good for you, my dear! I'm one of those who's had the joy kicked out of her as well and still can't find any joy at the thought of Christmas and decorations. I won't be decorating again this year...and it'll my third Christmas alone. My only joy comes from singing and I'm still singing with our church choir for our Christmas Eve candlelight service and I've done that since my 2nd Christmas alone.

    Thanks for your previous encouraging words and I don't plan on giving up but can honestly say the last few months with extra health issues has just brought my aloneness smacking me in the face. And because I'm trying to take care of me for a change, I'm getting judgment from others with implications that I shouldn't be withdrawing. Why can't others just try and be supportive instead of wanting to criticize? Have you had that from others?

    Keep up the good work....I enjoy following your blog.



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