Sunday, September 25, 2011


Funny how we raise our daughters to be strong.  To say No means No.  Respect yourself.  What was that?


Hey how about learning respect for yourself as being yourself rather than focus on being a widow?

Sometimes I have to take a step back and evaluate my feelings.  Why?  Who knows but its always been this way even before I became a widow.  Also, there are times when a person can evaluate far too often and become ensconced with self criticism. 

What I have done over the last three years is:  I became ensconced with being a widow.  

How I have allowed myself to be defined as a widow...well it happens to all of us.  Constantly we read or hear the words said by the "others" "Oh that poor widow Jones" or "That widow Jones drinks alot she's fallen apart."  Throughout our lives we have heard and have been trained even before we become widows, that a widow is defined as being a "widow."

The thought just hit me.  Actually its been there just I haven't truly been able to grasp it.  Times have changed and we have the ability to grasp our "titles" in life.  To some extent.  

So today I do not demand respect because I am a widow, but I am demanding to be respected for who I am.  This includes respecting myself for who I am rather than look down on myself for being a Widow.  I am actually no different than the "others."  What makes my life different is I have suffered a tragic loss, a loss that is almost impossible to recover from.  In fact, you won't recover.  Its not an illness.  However, there is absolutely no reason I cannot be respected for who I am and what I want in life.  

Respect.  It goes a long way. 

A little sassy these days!
My perspective

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