Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Autopilot

Occasionally you wake up and just suddenly "get it."  You get what you have been trying to figure out, Now what?  After seeing my counselor, I suddenly realized...I've been on autopilot for several years now.  How do I turn the autopilot off?




What is even sillier is, I have known this, so why couldn't I embrace that.  Yet, today I can.  So how do I stop the autopilot?  I have signs up all over my house now saying, "STOP, what are you doing?"  The second step to getting off autopilot is recognizing it when it happens.

This summer has lead me on a journey growing my wings.   That day, the very day, the diagnosis came through I went into autopilot.  It was as if I have stepped outside my body and was sitting back watching myself bounce off wall after wall that I had built.

The first step in resolving this issue is recognize autopilot.  This I have known.  I would see progress three steps forward, then boom, ten steps back.  I had lost control.  Time to start taking control back.  I'll make mistakes along the way, but forward will happen.  With the realization of what is going on, I can work from there and start recognizing when I begin the backward steps.

Hence in my house, all over there are now signs.  Signs saying Stop:  Wait a minute.  Is this right?

STOP: Wait a minute

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