Sunday, October 16, 2011

He's Gone Get Over It

This week has been phenomenally...weird.  Normally I would be emotional because its real close to that day.  You know the day I speak of.  It will be 4 years.  What brought all this up?

In my email from a psychic group was an article saying, "He's Gone Get Over It" At first I thought they meant old boyfriends.  As I read it said, widows, divorcee's...

Not just two years ago...maybe not even that, I would have been angry, burst into tears, you name it.  In fact knowing me I may have just written to the company and gave them a few choice words regarding the ignorance of a person who is supposed to be able to "see" into your life.

However, not this time.  Instead I found my self giggling.  What an incredibly rude and hurtful thing to say to a widow.  He's Gone Get Over It.  Who in their right mind would even think that we can just flip a damn switch and taaaa daaaa, all our pain is gone.

Well, it doesn't happen that way. 
I will say however that I have had the opportunity this summer to do a lot of soul searching.  With this comes flash backs of hurtful things said to me.  Things I just put aside and shrug off, or at least I thought I did.  It doesn't happen that way.

Here are some examples of what not to do to a widow, or anyone else as far as that goes.  Did your parents teach you no respect of others?

When are you going to get remarried?
                                      When are you going to get over it and move on?

                                      Hasn't it been long enough?

                                      When are you going to start doing things yourself?

Wow, lets overwhelm the senses and ask absolutely worthless questions.  The only one of these I can definitely answer today is, "When are you going to start doing things yourself?"  I started the day when my husband was diagnosed.  If you can't understand this, then I suggest you go take some classes on care-giving and end of life.

The question is:  Where were YOU when I needed you?


  1. Thank you for sharing this; it expresses something we've all felt at one time or another. We'll never get over it; things won't really change, it will just be different. Doing things for ourselves takes on a whole new meaning, doesn't it?

  2. My husband died of illness. When I went to the bank to deal with his accounts (not long after he had gone) The lady had the balls to ask me if he if had suffered alot. Yeah thanks.


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