Lets Get Together

Appropriate.  Forget-me-nots

How often have you heard, "hey, we should get together, give me a call!"  and they walk off.  You realize you don't have their phone number and ask for it. You put it in your phone and actually give them a call only to hear nothing on the other end.  Nothing such as no one picks up or ever call you back when you leave a message.  I've also been invited to dinner to, "get me out of the house."  Okay I'll bite, so I call and you hear a familiar voice and so you say hello.  She asks, "who is this?"  I say my name and a response of, "Well so and so is not here I will give her the message."  At this point you realize the invitation was actually wasted breath for lack of anything else to say.  How many times do we fall for this?

The other one I like is, "Oh I am so glad to see you.  Its nice to see you out.  You look good.  We need to get together.  I'll give you a call."  You're polite and say, "Oh I would love that Thank-you."  but deep in your heart you know you will never hear from this person.  Guess what, you never hear from the person.

This is what I call setting a widow up for false sense of hope that others do care and the hope that someone won't mind our company.  Unfortunately, most of us only hear from these folks if there is something involved meaning taking up your entire day, or a laying of hands to heal you.

Perhaps all these individuals mean well.  I'll never understand, why say it if you don't mean it cause indeed that leaves us felling far more isolated and down than before it was mentioned  Its a torturous mind bend that causes you hope, excitement, the feeling of "wow, people are actually over their weirdness like I have caught a contagious disease."  This is great. Your heart pounds at the possibility of human contact and friendship.

A while back I had been running into the numerous widows here.  Many who lost their husbands right after me or just before.  I always wondered why we never got together.  It is a small town and we know who we are.  Unfortunately, all we do is stop and acknowledge that things have not gotten better and how we are treated like the plague.

When it dawned on me.  We never ask to get together because everyone in our life pulls the ole "we'll get together," just to have a total and complete avoidance game again.  It hurts and it hurts deeply.  Sad very sad when we try to approach it, and all we think is "Oh another waste of breath just to sound nice?"

What a huge pity that so many of us here have been hurt so much by the actions of "well meaning folks." Our brains shut down and we just don't do it.  We don't ask.  We don't want to go through the rejection again and again.  So where I live, we do acknowledge each other but we never venture into getting together.  I always wondered why, but now I understand.

How many times must we be flat out rejected, misunderstood, or others feel "better" than us.  Individuals like this we run into far too much,  If we mention it or fall for it again we just to have to go through pain, emotional heaviness, being in the slumps and depressed once again.  Its almost like all 7 of us just don't want to be hurt again, cause we know no one wants to be around us.  We do understand each other, we do empathize, and we do mention wondering how each of us are doing.  BUT never do we try to create a meeting with all of us.  We feel it would just lead to more disappointment.  Alas, we move on knowing that we understand each other, but rejection from a sister widow would be the worse possible event to happen.

It hurts to be rejected by fellow widows and puts you into a slump harder than ever to come out of.