Taking a Deep Breath...

Taking a step toward a goal may seem like such an easy event.  It really should be, but for some reason, I continually chickened out.  Just as I was ready to take that step, in fact always in mid-stride, I'd receive a bantering of "you can't do that" or "you'll never do it."  This reverberates harshly in your heart when heard from those in the professional field of assisting those like me to get back on their feet and gain self confidence once again.  It has been, well, it affected me because I was losing faith in myself and what I could do. 

No matter, this really shouldn't stop a person.  What we do not realize is when we are in the situation of having a spouse pass away, a great deal of our inner strength goes into hiding.  We lose our footing.  We're scared.  We often succumb to criticisms because we are on such unsteady ground physically and emotionally.  Every piece of our personality has been stunned into a shock displacing our once grounded reality.


After a great deal of consideration, soul searching, and trying to find something I was going to do  with Rob but didn't get a chance too. I listed one thing.  One thing and decided I was going to succeed this year in one thing come hell or high water.  If I did not succeed, I decided it would not be due to lack of effort nor listening to the defeatist attitude I am carrying. 

I wrote down what it was.  Then, my final light..  What I wanted or desired as an outcome of what I was doing.  I researched to find out what was the best first step for me to take and built from there. Next is to stop myself and say...back to what you are doing.  Your decision, remain firm. 

Wow.  Just three weeks ago I said, "No" for the very first time.  It wasn't that hard, but it was a step.  Now I am taking more steps reminding myself to keep my eye on "What I want."  Its not easy, and I waver off path, but always come back.  I am determined to continue this upward swing and maintain it.  I can do it and will.

Okay Pep talk done!