Wake Up!

Such lucid dreams. I used to have such dreams. When my husband was ill I would dream lucidly that he was not. Rare very rare is it for me to have a dream where he is still alive and I wake up confused.

Such dreams have been hitting as waves and bashing me against the rocks in my little world that is like a tiny dory on the seas of life. What exactly is going on and why after so long would I begin to have such dreams?

Its so odd really, I am so so sad in the dream yet happy at the same time. I am looking at him through a window frame. He's laughing and being playful as usual and I am laughing back. I miss the playing. Young at heart we will always be. Its bright ever so bright. I know he's gone and I'm so very sad, yet there he is on the other side of the window waving, smiling, laughing, making faces and so...alive.


On the other side of me, another window I can look through. I can't make out all the people there, but whoever they are, they make me happy, but I want to look longer through the window with my husband. He's alive for a bit and I must connect while I can...and suddenly in the dream, that dream that has been waking me up confused for days in a row...I realize this is a dream.

I am able to take control and wake up. Wake up Robin, don't be sad when you do. I wake up and focus on the light I have trained myself to look for. Ah, there it is the light on the heater. I know I am home. Now I begin to understand.

Something new, I can feel it, something is turning the tide in the sea of life again. This time I have no fear and I have my oars. I guess we'll see where this tide change takes me this time. I won't question it, I'll go with it. Why not?