Tuesday, May 10, 2011

How to Focus and Create a Flight Plan

Lovely, just when you want to build another reasonable plan to replace the one you wandered from and completely mucked up, your thinking disappears.  I don't know about you, but since becoming a widow, my focus is really out of touch.  Looking around frantically you try to find it.  Darn, you just can't do this without finding your thinking cap.

I don't know what got into me but I couldn't think.  Not coherent thought.  I sat here staring blankly at all the things to do and so many thoughts went through my head it was pretty near painful.  Not a good sign when your brain begins a melt down.

Suddenly I found myself wandering around the house gathering hats.  What bizarre behavior, I have lost my mind I know it.  But alight, hats it is, this must be going somewhere.  Lets see:
  • I grabbed my favorite weird looking hat that is wool and has strings hanging from it.
  • Oh!  My son's Stevie Rae Vaughn hat from the original manufacturers for Stevie's Rae's hats.  Hat says "Son, I Love you" 
  • My purple, green, black, yellow, white, orange, basically the most colorful hat you've ever seen.  Woven by traditional weavers in South America.  Stunning bright with a special bird woven in.
  •  My Elmer Fudd Hat
  • My grossly dusty don't-know-why-I-have-this Morroco Mole hat.  In case you don't know what that is...a Fez.  No, don't ask.
  • My husbands stocking cap when he was bald and his head got cold.
  • Lastly, my old fashioned styled with a black veil kind of a pill hat style with wisps of feathers on the side.

I neatly lay these hats on a table beside me and stared at them in awe.  I smiled with such admiration of  the macabre, bizarre, retro, and just unexplainable junk hat collection.  Gee, and I wonder why company doesn't come over often.  Anyhoo, life continues in this story.

I put them all on my head and suddenly the Morroco Mole look was really was happenin' for me.  I felt the love.  Next thing I know someone stops by.  Wouldn't ya know it.  I opened the door and welcomed her in with my Morroco Mole hat on!  She looked at me oddly,  but said not one word.  As she was talking to me she kept looking at my hat, and then looking at me, then looked my collection.  Every time she looked at me with wonderment I'd raise my eyebrow and smile giving my head a flip to get the tassle out of my face.  But not a word about this either.

Suddenly, she says, "So have you decided what you are going to do with your life?  You're not getting any younger."

I replied sweetly, not making comment on her abrupt question, "I would, but I can't find the magic carpet and genie lamp that came with the hat.  So the beads and putting Rob's items away safely is my first agenda.  Maybe the prior will show up as I go through things."

She looked at me quite odd, I smiled, I walked her to the door, she turned and had to have one more good look at me and went to her car.  Hrrrmph.  If she really wanted to be a friend and advise me, she could've at least shown up as Secret Squirrel so we could have fun.

Odd But True
A Widow's Perspective


  1. Delightful! Indeed, we wear many hats as we work our way through the grieving process. I have a favorite hat that says "ROMA" on it; I bought it for Gwen when we visited Rome a few years ago.

  2. I hated being reminded that I wasn't getting any younger. Really, what do people think they are accomplishing when they say this? It just made me feel worse rather than inspired to take some sort of action. Your hat story is hilarious and I like the first comment that ties it in with wearing different hats through the grieving process. The image of you wearing the fez with your company giving you weird looks really made me laugh.

  3. Widow in the Middle, I absolutely have many sarcastic, lashing to leave pain thoughts of what I could say. Nothing pisses me off faster. You're right. What is the purpose? I feel Morroco Mole said it all for me!

    Jaloysisus, we do wear so many hats don't we. Check out your hat collection in about 6 months! Seems like whenever we are around folks or in public, we wear either a mask, also known as a hat in our circumstances!


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