No, yes, No, yes...what about me?

Have learned much in the last week my friends.  Patience, humor, the need to focus by finding my new focus, peace, and accepting I am doing all I can do.

Woke up this morning with individuals, including son, vying for my immediate attention, NOW.  I had plans to go through more things, and prepare my self for MY new journey.  When I tried to compromis, I was bomblasted with such negativity that...I ended up frozen not able to breath.

She calls for a reason, she feels the pain...

She feels my hurt, my sorrow, my pain.  So softly she calls, and I move her way.  Like a fury from where, she can call out your name.  With her gentle caress she can sooth your soul or suddenly disappear causing an end.  She is her own master, her strength is unknown, but rear her head and of those dispose.

Differences...

Lesson early today.

I woke up in a funk, started with my Tai Chi and felt better!

Then I get a phone call, and boom person in funk.

What did I just say only a couple of posts ago??  Oh ya, Snoop Dog.  So I listened for awhile and when the individual conversing with oneself switched to me being the focus I said, "Snoop Dog."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh just thinking, Snoop Dog."

Amazingly I cut this person off from going on how bad they have it even though they have an amazing amount of resources they can pull on, but...they just didn't get their "way" and well its the end of the world worse than what I could ever imagine.  So if I thought I had it rough, I don't know anything because....

Hey you...Widow...

Huh?  What is it with the music lately?  I will pass, but what is with the deer?  Bambi syndrome now?  What is it with the title?

Now that I am a bit further along in the "healing" area, I can actually be amused with the title bestowed.  I still have a long way to go, but hey, there's a clearing somewhere around here.  Somewhere a stable rock to put my foot is here.

Tripp on Dis...

Get the funk outta my face.  Ya, get it out of my face!  Amazing how we go through some serious funks.  It seems worse after my husband passed.  Seriously, it's not like I'm perpetually a downer.  Really I like to have fun, I like to feel good and I like to be me.  Whatever it is at that particular time!

I realized I really miss having someone to share the fun with!  It's not that I'm a downer and don't have fun, it's just that I'm never invited to go have fun, so I have to create my own fun.  Since no one wants to hear what I've been up to...well I go in a funk.  It reminds me there is no one here that cares like my husband.  Plus, what is up with that?  He's supposed to be here.

That's the problem, I have no one to share fun with.

Can't Rollerskate In a Buffalo Herd...

 

Honestly, this is going to be my theme song.  Why?  Because its incredibly funny and annoying at the same time.  The same way I feel when I am told I need to be "happy" and make the "best" of life.  

Obviously we have some conflict with the idea of happy here.  I thought it was me, thought I had to have a positive attitude to take life head on and make the best of it.  Then I realize, no, it is alright for me to be sad when I am sad.  It is alright for me to be happy when I am happy.  It is alright for me to cry when I cry.  So on and so forth.

What concerns me is why the "others" believe I should be happy all the time when in reality the "others" also have their moments.

Guardian Angels

Don't know about anyone else, but...do you believe in Guardian Angels?  I definitely have more than one I believe.  What throws me off is...

Someone else saw my Guardian Angel when I did not.  I don't think that was a Guardian Angel.  I had way too many odd things happen today for that to have been a Guardian Angel.

In one of my previous posts I had written about my husband who is now a mature eagle.  Well he never really left per se.  In fact, he is stronger than ever.  Especially if what happened happened, which it did, he is not gone, he has truly matured but never left me as I thought.  He just changed his appearance and now has gone into protection mode.