Madam Butterfly

Have you ever found yourself just fluttering about afraid to make that landing? Dang it’s a pain to run about trying to catch that runaway balloon.  Why is it so darn complicated?

When I was very young, just a child, I use to watch butterflies.  I found them mesmerizing.  They flutter about almost aimlessly it seems.  However, you know in reality they are on their own mission.  Not only are butterflies beautiful but they are interesting creatures.

Butterflies flutter moving up, down and forward.  They don't fly, they flutter, or so it seems to me.  They land very gracefully.  Have you ever seen a butterfly fall unless its wings have been damaged?   They are so intriguing that you want to touch.  But, if you get near that butterfly, now matter how sneaky you try to be, off they go.  You missed your chance at touching something so beautiful, so delicate. You think, "Rats, better luck next time."

Butterflies are all different,  none being the same.  Fascinating how they live going through major changes without a care.  In fact,  that is their  mission.  Butterflies are born to change.  They metamorphose from something considered by some to be creepy, crawly or incredibly elaborate and then they reach their beauty, then its done.

Birth, well has anyone ever try to unwind a silk cocoon?   A seemingly endless fine delicate thread, but to get to the very end, gosh it takes forever.  A lot of patience.  Imagine how it long it would take to make that cocoon if you weren't a butterfly.

Unlike butterflies we are human.  It is not in our nature to go through such rapid change with natural graceful landings.  Nor is it in our nature to metamorphose into anything than what we are, human.  Bottom line, when you lose a loved one, a job, a home or a good friend, we are going through a change whether we know it or not.

Now wait just a minute!  Didn't you previously whine about people accusing us of being changed, or different, when we really aren't?  Yes, indeed I did thank-you for calling me on that.  Now hear me out:

What causes us to be different is our "human-ness".  We have emotions.  We feel.  We are born, then we live, then we age, then we pass away.  This is our life cycle.  Mix emotion to the picture and the cycle affects not only us, but others around us.  If we fell over while watching that butterfly, would the butterfly notice?  No, not unless it was a "danger-fly away" reaction.  But if we had a friend with us they would truly be laughing with us.

Wow, so where is that friend that laughs with us?  Could it be they are trying to reach out and touch a butterfly?

We have friends, or most of us do at any rate.  Yet we all feel, they don't understand.  Why do we "appear" different to them?  Why do they appear different to us?  We aren't different.  We are "feeling" different.  This affects those near us.

Being forced to go through a change we don't understand nor will we ever understand is not easy.   So in a way, no, we'll never be the same.  However, we will be who we are even though we have to accept and adjust to the "newness" of our being.

Each of us has a butterfly, beautiful and different from each other.  We are all going through a change, this includes those around us.  Since it isn't natural for us, it is going to cause some fluttering about.  Because we are not really butterflies, it is just a metaphor, we face the reality.  We are emotional beings.  Emotions are not the same in any of us.  Change is okay, but painful change isn't natural and we don't like it.  We lose our footing in life.   Hence, some very awkward landings!  We do not fly out of danger because no real danger is present.  We just feel strange and since we don't like it, we take flight.

Maybe our friends have no way of knowing how to react to such fluttering.  Remember, we are dealing with emotions.  Some individuals have more patience at catching butterflies than others!  Also, think about that cocoon.  Since that isn't natural either, it took a long time to spin that baby.  So no matter how much thread we allow to be removed, there is a whole lot more.

This is a situation we just have to work out.  Always, there will be those who think they have the right answers for us, but it was not our answer.  Unless it is ours,  it won't be the right answer. Instead of being hard on ourselves, we need to give ourselves time to work it out.  Remember, we affect those around us even if we don't mean to.  So give them time too.   Once the dust settles, and eventually it will, those left standing are honestly our friends.

This day's edition is sponsored by:

A Widow's Perspective.  She's real!